KARAOKE has rules. And one of them is that two or more people can perform – but only if the original recording had the same number of performers. So you can sing a duet with a friend on, say “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”. But if you want to perform “Angels” by Robbie Williams or “Chain Reaction” by Diana Ross, then you have to do it by yourself. I don’t make the rules (actually, I do, but they make sense, so everyone should stick to them).
You see, there’s nothing worse than listening to a crowd of men or women turning any song into the equivalent of a football chant sung at a hen party.
But that’s exactly what happened tonight on what is probably the worst programme I have seen in a very long time: Who Dares Sings on ITV1. I only saw a few minutes, but it involved the entire studio audience singing “Chain Reaction”. Utterly, utterly hideous.
Singing with a bunch of friends may make you less self-conscious up on stage, but it’s missing the point of Karaoke, which is to give it your best shot, but to take it seriously, and to be taken seriously (another one of my rules).
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Saturday 19 July 2008 at 11:53 pm
There is Karaoke most nights at The Press Club but we could perhaps find an even closer venue to the Conference Hall for Manchester 08.
Sunday 20 July 2008 at 1:34 am
How very sad that you are an MP. Have you ever thought about an alternative career as a clown or a talk-show host? I would strongly advise you take some serious advice. You may need it sooner than you think!
Sunday 20 July 2008 at 1:35 am
Diablo – Oh, come on, surely you can stop worrying about a European superstate long enough to give me points for the headline at least?
Sunday 20 July 2008 at 5:57 am
I much prefer Last Choir Standing on the BBC.
I think ITV have missed the point that a Karaoke audience needs to be intoxicated, and therefore it should remain solely as pub entertainment. Given that the program is broadcast on a Saturday evening that’s exactly where an appreciative audience will be anyway.
Sunday 20 July 2008 at 8:01 am
I am getting worried about your private life.
Sunday 20 July 2008 at 12:38 pm
You know the Sports and Social does Karaoke on a Wednesday evening don’t you? Can we expect to see you there after the recess?
Sunday 20 July 2008 at 12:40 pm
Oh, yes. Me and a few other (as yet unnamed) ministerial colleagues.
Sunday 20 July 2008 at 3:04 pm
If you can get your departmental boss Ruth Kelly to sing a duet of Meat Loaf’s “Dead Ringer for Love” with you at the Sports and Social then I will join the Labour Party and come and work for you for free!