And another thing…

Tories at 41%, Labour on 27% in ICM/Guardian poll

Is that not what you meant?

“Brown wins General Election” would be good.

“Saudi ‘genie’ sued for harassment” was on the BBC News website last week.

As was “Colombia kills drug baron hippo”

“Cameron offended by Brown smears” is one of my personal favourites.

It’s good but…. You have to go a long way to beat “Wrestling midgets killed by fake hookers”

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?Wrestling_midgets_killed_by_fake_hookers&in_article_id=696603&in_page_id=34

Monkey’s Mental Manipulations Move Mechanical Member

Tony Blair: My Government will be whiter than white and purer than pure. We are the Servants of the people.

That was a good one. Especially in retrospect.

Who hung the Hartlepool monkey?

The original headline to this story was Boozy celeb chimp killed after eating ladies hand http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2245113.ece

Also The Sun once had ‘Super Caley go ballistic Celtic are atrocious.’

Qunictiilius Varus, Give Me Back My LEGIONS!.

How’s that for a headline?

Sigh. Look what you’ve done to him. He was an awkward bugger, true, but he never really meant any harm. Now he’s Caesar Augustus himself up in Gartnavel Royal, fretting about the Teutoburg Forest while weedin’ the turnips with his good mates Napoleon on the one side and Kaiser Wilhem II on the other.

Yours in sadness, his amaunuensis

Eric Fenby.

Surely one of the best was when Michael Foot was to chair a group to look at nuclear disarmament. The headline read, “Foot Heads Arms Body”.

Pop-singer priest in sex-change mercy dash to Palace.

The most memorable ‘Freddie Starr ate my hamster!’

The Sun, after Jeremy Beadle died:
‘Beadle’s Not About’

surely it could only be beaten by: “Zombie Alien Monkey Moves Robot Using Mind Control”

Leaving aside the obvious candidates for best headline, a quick Google gives me the wonderful

“Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike say”

“Pop-singer priest in sex-change mercy dash to Palace.”

We have a winner.

Although if you want the really ridiculous, you could go for

“Tom Harris Blog overtakes Old Holborn blog in the Wikio Ratings”

http://www.wikio.co.uk/blogs/top/politics

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8145676.stm

“Columbia kills drug baron hippo”

GWML Electrified!

After the New York City public transport system was bailed out by the State of New York in a weekend long budget session, the NY Post published it’s first headline of the week:

“Sick Transit’s Glorious Monday”

Perfect.

Great minds and that:

http://transmontanus.blogspot.com/2009/07/emperor-visits-neptune.html

Brown is a robot, Mandelson is found to be an ape….

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090703/tod-wrestling-midgets-killed-by-fake-pro-870a197.html

I can think of a better one: ‘Cameron Resigns As Tory Leader’.

“Tom Harris MP defects to the Tories as Labour disintegrates”

Excellent! Throw in the word ‘puppet’ somewhere and it would be completely perfect… Q

@ Cathy – your wit there is as clear as your understanding of what a headline is.

Some of my favourites:

“Monty Flies Back to Front”
“CND ducks vote on bomb”
“British left waffles on Falklands”

The one where Inverness Cally beat Celtic off the park was good.

‘Super Cally go ballistic Celtic are atrocious’

There was another one from years and years ago where some Glasgow tourists got caught up in an ETA bombing – I think it was the Sunday Mail. It just said ‘Bombs Ya Basque’. People got t-shirts with the slogan and wore them in Spain – must have been quite bemusing.

Apologies to non-weegies

“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead”

“Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years”

“If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While”

http://www.witty-quotes.com/headlines_1.html

Socialism dead!

The Sun’s recent headline about Jordan using the internet to abuse her estranged husband springs to mind:

The Twitter batter of tiny Pete.

My favourite was in a small paper in Ireland recently, the Mayo Advertsier. The headline read

“MASSIVE BLOW JOBS FOR BELMULLET”.

There has been a massive influx men in raincoats fans to the area.

Monkey Does NOT Not Move Robot Using Mind Control.

My personal fave from last Month .

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8109455.stm

“Copper stolen from police station”