And another thing…

Tom

I ask this in all seriousness. Are you in the right party?

Take a picture of a railway station or any public building. You’ll be arrested under the anti terrorist laws. Simples.

Tom, I love your sense of humour, and I love it when Tories (such as Iain Dale) not only grab the wrong end of the stick, but they then run around with it for all to see!

Top stuff

[...] · Leave a Comment Kudos to Iain Dale for providing today’s entertainment. Tom Harris wrote a light-hearted blog post about his fight to have his DNA added to the DNA database, and Iain blogged his response slamming [...]

1) Phone the police and tell them you think Tom Harris has been in touch with a civil servant leaking information damaging to the Labour party

2) Wait

3) Voila!

Your government had Maya Evans convicted of breaching Section 132 of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act for standing next to the Cenotaph on Whitehall and reading aloud the names of the British soldiers who had died in Iraq. You could provide a public service and also get your DNA on public record if you followed her example by reading out the names of the more than 200 soldiers who have died defending Afghan men’s right to beat, starve and rape their troublesome wives. Go to it.

become a special constable like your labour colleague Brian Donoghue ,all police hace to give their fingerprints and dna

“So here’s my problem: how do I persuade the police to store my DNA? Why should I, an “innocent” person, be denied the right to have my fingerprint and other personal data included in the national database with everyone else’s, “innocent” and guilty alike?”

Simply tell the European Court of Human Rights which right, enshrined in the European Convention of Human Rights, that you are being denied.

You must know thats the way it works.

My guess is your sore because these independent judges didn’t echo Labour rhetoric when innocents wanted their DNA removed.

You? “Innocent”?

Are you sure about that?

Please don’t make me list New Labour’s atrocities.

Were you just obeying orders?

Seriously, Tom, do you feel personally responsible for any of the truly nasty stuff that has happened since 1997?

Give blood instead, after all thats all we have left after 12 years of spend,spend,spend labour.

Gawd luv aduck.

@ John P Reid.

A labour MP is a special constable? Really?

Surely that breaks the convention that Labour MPs have to do nothing for the country and be bloody useless at all times.

What makes you think it isn’t already stored, Tom?. All MP’s have an SIS file held on them, or didn’t you know that?

So, your DNA is on the database. Someone steals a cup you’ve been drinking out of or a pen you’ve been absent mindedly chewing and plants it at a murder scene and suddenly you’re prime suspect.

I think the state is there to serve the people and not the other way around – and keeping our genetic material on record is really quite sinister.

Just send it in. They’ll be glad to have it.

But don’t come on here from the B Wing at the Bar L crying because a forensic pathologist testified to ‘a partial match’, a corpse dog had an off-day, and the prosecuting brief convinced twelve people not smart enough to avoid jury service that your popping into Sainsbury’s on the way home was ‘hardly the conduct of an innocent man’.

This post is not funny.

Miranda Grell
Saturday 22 August 2009 at 6:58 pm
This post is not funny.
********************************************

I couldn’t agree more – you must try harder.

I note from today’s Clearing supplement in the Telegraph that Bath Spa ‘university’ still has some places on its Stand-Up Comedy course.

Put some thought to it.

Abstract:

Imagine that a scientist from a Scottish university asks you and your family to participate in a study on a particular gene variant associated with alcoholism. The project focuses on your ethnic group, the Scots, and particularly the Harris’s who have a higher incidence of alcoholism, as well as a higher incidence of the gene variant, than the general population. You will not be informed whether you have the gene variant, but your participation in the study might help scientists develop drugs to help individuals control their addiction to alcohol. You have a family history of alcoholism, and you are concerned that your son may be susceptible to the condition as well. Do you agree to participate in the study?

Now imagine that, with your participation, the study concludes that the Harris’s with the particular gene variant have a ten percent chance of becoming alcoholics, whereas Harris’s without the gene variant have only a five percent chance. Although the scientists are careful to note that the gene variant exists in the general population and is not the cause of alcoholism, the sound-bite reported by the media is that the Harris’s are hardwired to become alcoholics.

That same day, your son gets drunk in a pub and pushes an off-duty police officer through a window, killing him. Your son is charged with murder, and his Solicitor wants to use his genetic predisposition toward alcoholism as a defence. Some members of your family and community are concerned that this approach will only further stigmatise the Harris’s as alcoholics. How do you advise your son and his Solicitor?

@Anon 7:43

“How do you advise your son and his Solicitor?”

Advise them that you have Libyan genes & your son has a short life-expectancy. Plead for compassion.

A drunken Scot?
Whoever heard of such a ridiculous thing?

Why don’t you get yourself into a position where you’re suspected of some spurious crime, whilst not actually doing it? Hey presto – under the wonderful laws of the land, you too can have your DNA stored whilst having done naff all.

Sorry, can’t see the humour in this post. You read like a David Boothroyd or a Hopi Sen here, sneeringly laughing at anyone who dares to criticise the glorious laws that seemingly protect us while perniciously extending the role of the state into one’s life unnecessarily. Although not a civil libertarian, I could do without the contemptuous bull-**** towards the very British and common-sense instinct of “Get out of my sphere!”; the logical conclusion of such contempt is incompatible with the whole tenor of the British body politic.

[...] Harris just doesn’t get it. His latest post seeks to defend the practice of the state holding the DNA of innocent people. LIKE Damian Green [...]

I dare say they’ll ask for yours in time.

You could try drinking a can of Supermarket Own Brand 2.1% beer on a London Bus:

http://www.tom-watson.co.uk/2009/08/four-cans-of-lager-tax/

Boris would not be pleased:

http://www.boriswatch.co.uk/

or disagreeing with some of Iain Dale’s expat scunners:

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=6214838&postID=1042955944334256539

They may prefer a full size plaster of paris model of your cadaver though . . .

Did you mean this as a joke? Forgive my slow, Tory brain; but I don’t get it. Could you explain, for the benefit of the 800,000 innocent Britons who have their biological ID in the hands of the police, either what’s so funny about your suggestion, or otherwise, by what right you believe the state has the right to own our chromosomal data? Last time I checked, mine was a gift, to me, from my mum and dad. Were I ever to commit the New Labour crime of standing up in public to read out the names of the war dead, I’m not following by what form of moral reasoning you believe it to be correct for the police to take and to retain my DNA data. Perhaps you can explain?

I giggled.

How everyone can entirely miss a joke even when the post is labelled “WHIMSY” is beyond me. No, politicians aren’t allowed to have a sense of humour or make jokes… *rolls eyes*

[...] Harris put up a tongue-in-cheek post about getting the police to accept his DNA on the Database of Life. Dry humour, but humour [...]

If someones arrested for driving without due care or attention/ or public order anti social behaviour and its knocked down to reckless driving/ drunk and disordely, they are released without being charged or admitting guilt yet it doesn’t mean they didn’t do a crime that carries the weight of having their dna taken, so ‘innocent’ in terms of the law doesn’t mean they haven’t benn found guily of breaking the law, same as getting either a legal caution or a police caution, as in the former case they have that taken off after 3 years,but it wasn’t worth the court costs to proceed

@John P Reid
….same as getting either a legal caution or a police caution, as in the former case they have that taken off after 3 years,but it wasn’t worth the court costs to proceed

Or the police know they can up their conviction figures. I doubt the police mention that accepting a caution is an admission of guilt and that you’ll therafter be branded a criminal.

I fear that you are rather simple if you believe it is only or even in major part due to cost.

You can’t think beyond the end of your nose, caan you? After 13 years of the most incompetent, mendacious government in history, Labour will be thrown out of office in May or June next year. If the Conservative government does not immediately change police policy on keeping the DNA of innocent people, you, Tom Harris, will be in the vanguard of the mob clamouring for civil liberties and an end to the “police state”. While this evil Labour government remains in place it is OK, but as soon as your opposition is in office you will be screaming at “Conservative authoritarianism”.

Message to Miranda Grell: I’ll tell you what isn’t funny, calling your political opponents paedophiles.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article2434346.ece

You’re a disgrace. What makes you think anyone cares what you believe?

Honestly. This government. Obsessed with keeping the country safe and protecting future victims of crime.

At least we know the next lot won’t be so beastly.

@ Liberanos
“protecting future victims of crime”

Yes, by locking them up…

Harris 1 – Dale 0?