MY PROGRESS towards total domination of the Labour Party has been slow but steady. According to Iain Dale and Brian Brivati’s annual Top 100 Most Influential Left Wingers list, I’ve soared to a dizzy 93rd place – up six places since last year.

I wonder what position I would have been in had GB not sacked me last October?

Just another fifteen and a half years of this and I’ll hit that number one spot! Bwah, ha, ha…!