EUROPE, for me, is one of those “bleah” issues: it’s never lit my candle, as it were. I have much the same reaction to the subject as I do to vanilla ice cream, which is, I suspect, the same attitude as the vast majority of electors.

Most people do not obsess about what per centage of domestic legislation comes from Brussels (Eurosceptics tend to invent figures upwards of 70 per  cent; for the record, it’s actually less than ten). The vast majority of Tories and libertarians, of course, do little other than obsess about Europe: “Betrayal!” they cry, almost as if anyone were listening to them.

So much time has passed since there was a Tory government in this country that many have forgotten just how the issue of Europe turned them into a dysfunctional entity. And it would happen again if they ever formed a government again. Not because they’re particularly disunited on Europe this time round; in fact the Tories are probably more united on Europe since at any time since our entry to the EEC. The problem is, they’re united around overt Europhobia.

Sure, Cameron keeps Ken Clarke, his pet Europhile, in the Shadow Cabinet, just to prove to the world what a big tent the modern Conservative Party is. But Clarke is very much the exception. The vast majority of Conservative MPs, candidates and members would vote to leave the EU in a heartbeat if they got the chance.

So what of it? That’s arguably more in tune with the views of the British people right now. Arguably.

The problem, of course, is that even though they believe they’re more in tune than Labour with the public on Europe, they can’t act on it, for fear that they will appear dogmatic and extreme. Which is why we have this ridiculous argument over the Lisbon Treaty. Dave has said he “will not let the matter rest there” if the treaty has already been ratified by the time of the general election and if he becomes Prime Minister. Yesterday I had a bit of fun baiting some foamers into explaining what this actually meant. We all know what it meant: nothing at all. But Cameron must keep up the pretence of opposition to a fully ratified treaty if he’s to stop his right wing rebelling.

Cameron, ultimately, despite being anti-EU, is a pragmatic politician; he doesn’t want any government he might form bogged down for its first 18 months in a pointless and costly referendum campaign which could achieve nothing other than isolating the UK within Europe. But he desperately needs to keep his right wing on board until 10.00 pm on polling day. Hence the silly “we won’t let matter rest there” soundbite.

That won’t work for very long if the Tories – God help us – ever do form a government. The likes of John Redwood and Bill Cash and a hundred others won’t allow a little thing like electoral credibility get in the way of their ideological purity.

On the evidence of the past couple of days, there’s plenty of fun to be had in baiting the Tories on the subject between now and the election.