And another thing…

This is an excellent thing for campaigning.

Shame Brown’s gone for the “FEAR THE TORIES!” line instead of trying to find the positives…

Somehow I don’t think a campaign song along the lines of ‘Things Can Only Get More of the Same’ will work, or a repetition of ‘We’re allright!” -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TOgB3Smvro&feature=related

I think your best bet is a joint approach of (a) listing some of your govt’s achievements; (b) pointing a finger at the opposition parties and laughing; (c) using your bets players regardless of whether or not Brown gives them growlers. You should certainly be using Jim Murphy more. if I were a betting bloke I’d check out the odds on Murphy losing his own seat, but the most unlikely people, such as Gorgeous George, rate him.

“standing on your record in government.”

Hey, shame your post missed the deadline, it would have won, on the bridle, the #1 position in the Daily Telegraph’s ‘Top 50 Jokes of the Noughties’.

Not the ‘Bear in the Woods’ one? Reagan wasn’t exactly starting from a weakened position – it’s much easier to fight on your record if people feel that they like what you have done.

Major’s ‘92 campaign might be a better analogue.

Standing on your record as a government…..

So more unemployment, education not educating, taxes through the roof, more red-tape than ever, unable to disagree with anyone in case ‘they take offence’ and sue you or get you sacked, equality that means everyone is equal except the majority…

I hope they do go for a campaign of standing on their record Tom, they would almost certainly fail if they did.

Are you serious Tom? Or are you just blogging your fantasies?

Morning will come with Cameron in 10 Downing St and the papers reporting the break-up of the Labour into its warring factions.

Darn it – you’ve got me blogging MY fantasies now!

“This <strike recessionmorning, which started in America…

If you want to have a cheerful and upbeat campaign, I suggest you get a cheerful and upbeat Leader..

“50 days to save the world” failed so by definition we’re all doomed as Copenhagen failed.

Oh, you mean it was not true..I would never have guessed from the rhetoric. I must stop believing what politicians say…

That’s another reason to get a new Leader…

Here let me write the copy for you – save Alastair Campbell the effort.

*******************************************

It’s night-time again in Britain.

Today more men and women, five and a half million, do no work. More than ever before in our country’s history.

With interest rates at a multi-century low in a bid to cope with the biggest bust in 75 years, nearly 130 families today will lose their homes, more than at any time in the past fifty years.

This afternoon many young men and women will be attacked, and with 5 million episodes of violent crime reported a year in the UK, they can look forward with trepidation to the future.

It’s night-time again in Britain, and under the leadership of Captain Insensible, our country is poorer and more dangerous and much, much worse.

Why would anyone who is not a client-stater want five more years of this?

(Fades with shot of burnt-out car surrounded by feral youths on a sink estate.)

More international interventions than any govenment in history (not necessarily a bad thing);
The end of boom and bust;
More law than at any time in history;
More ciminals than at any time in history (is that related to the last point?);
More surveillance than ever before;
More police powers than ever before;
Less social mobility than any other western democracy;
More state workers than at any point in history;
Removal of Habeas corpus;
Removal of the presumption of innocence;
Seizure of property for suspected criminal offences;
Stop and search with no cause;
Hate crime legislation;
Thought crimes;

I could go on, but I’ll elt some other people do the rest. Also, a list of what you consider New Labour’s 5 greatest achievements would be interesting (and winning 3 elections or keeping the tories out for 12 years doesn’t count.)

A completely honest promotional film about New Labour’s record would be the biggest possible vote-winner for all the other parties.

Do it.

@Sammy 2.03pm – you forgot to mention the music – “Ode to Joy”.

It’s exactly the same time as before time in Britain.

Some analysis done in some university or other did manage to find a single electron of difference between Conservative and New Labour in one group of atoms in one corner of one policy, but it was invalid anyway because it didn’t have the approval of the other twenty six members of the main legislative body for our plucky,little province,which as every schoolboy knows, is in Belgium.

A new government may possibly be allowed to arrange a referendum on the timing of our province’s name change to Neurotania, but that will only give us twenty-five year’s grace.

But as they say in Brussels, voting keeps the people happy, as long as you ignore the result, so let’s pretend it’s going to make a difference to our lives and get ourselves dangerously over-excited thinking about it.

“UK recession longest and deepest since war” reports The Guardian. And you want your party to seriously campaign on some fantastical sunny optimism by Brown repeating ad infinitum one or two achievements that have actually lasted?

It maybe how elections are won…but not for you. Brown bankrupted Britain. And you want to pretend that he represents some kind of Reagan style positivity. Methinks you’ve started on the mulled wine a little too early…

Merry Chrimbo anyway…love reading your blog.

One quibble with that slogan if you’re going to use it to talk up Labour’s record, Tom. If it’s morning now, that means that depending on how long your metaphorical day lasts, it was night not so long ago.

That, in turn, means that the Labour Government has been shambling about in the dark for a fairly large part of its tenure. Not the best image!

Standing on your record eh?

No more boom and bust – failed spectacularly
Education, education, education – Failed
Tough on Crime etc – Failed
24 hours to save the NHS – Some improvement but at what cost?
Integrated transport system – Failed
British jobs for British workers – Failed
Immigration – thousands let in legally and thousands more illegally
Taxes – raised
Council tax – doubled
Manifesto Commitment on a Referendum – Reneged on
Illegal wars – covenant with the Armed Services broken
Thinking the unthinkable on welfare – failed
An end to sleeze – failed bigtime
No university tuition fees – Reneged on

Please do campaign on Labour’s record.

Prosperity not austerity.

Never mind Tom, I am glad to see that the Labour Party is receiving £2.5 Million in cash to fund its election campaign.

Good news for you BUT I am sure Gordon brown will reject it as most comes from Lord Sainsbury (a toff) and the rest from bankers.

After all that your party has said about toffs and bankers I have every expectation it will be true to its words and reject the money.

“It’s morning again Britain. Overnight, we borrowed nearly £160m pounds. That’s money your children will be paying back, with interest, with their taxes.That’s if your child can even get a job which, under Labour, he or she probably won’t. It’s morning again Britain”

Yep, that ought to about do it

Sarcasm aside, it’s a good point. I may think Labour has been rubbish, but after 13 years of government you’d hope there would be at least some positives to campaign on.

Mr Harris was obviously being ironic.

“Positive, upbeat, optimistic, standing on your record in government. That’s how elections are won.”

Yes, and surveys which question people about the NHS, Police, Education etc have rarely had such upbeat responses. People will get round to realising that HMG had a fair bit to do with all that.

Marriage! Nuclear Families! Flag Waving! Patriotism!!! No no no! NuLabour cannot stand such things after all.

That old woman was checking out the bride’s arse. No question.

Please try an ad like that Tom. If only for the comedy value. Let Labour stand on its record and see how long it remains on its feet.