I EXPECT to win the National Lottery on Saturday. There’s no doubt – I just have a feeling about it. Yep, my six numbers are going to appear on those magic balls, and it’s about time!

I wonder how much I’ll win? I hope it’s an even number: four or maybe six million. Three or five would just make me a bit uncomfortable, for some reason.

And then, on Sunday, while I’m cradling my cheque and telling it how beautiful it looks, I will be only dimly aware that simply by having become massively richer overnight, I will have plunged a large number of my fellow citizens into poverty.

Because that’s how relative poverty – and income inequality – are calculated. Footballers, pop stars and certain members of the financial services industry receiving astronomically large amounts of cash warp the whole income distribution map so much that, in comparison, those at the bottom end of the scale – even those whose conditions might have materially improved in recent years – find themselves “realtively” worse off and sinking closer to “relative” poverty.

Faced wth such an imbalance, how can any government try to narrow that inequality gap? By taxing the rich more and giving large cheques through the benefits system to the less well off? Well, yes, you could do that, even though it would be insane. But don’t let that put you off.

Yet it will simply not be possible for any government of any persuasion to reverse that inequality unless they impose really punitive taxes on the riches in our country. There may well be a moral (left-wing) justification for doing so. But taxing people for its own sake, as I’ve said on so many occasions, is plain wrong, stupid and won’t work, except to make some puritanical types feel better about themselves.

Theresa May’s response to today’s report was particularly asinine:

I am certainly not going to pretend that inequality was created in 1997, but we need to say why is it after a government with good intentions and a clear policy focus? They tended to have a one dimensional approach… they look at the symptoms not the causes.

This is about dealing with the causes of inequality and poverty, about helping people move up the rungs of the ladder.

“The symptoms not the cause”? As a soundbite, it’s average, but what does it mean? “Dealing with causes of inequality and poverty”? Fine, but how, exactly?

Yes, we have to concentrate on those at the bottom of the pile: get them off benefits and into work, improve educational opportunities, lift people’s – especially children’s – aspirations. It’s all good, but none of that will narrow the inequality gap – at least, not significantly and not while the “super-rich” remain with us.

It’s not all to do with the “super-rich”, of course (much though I’d love to blame all the nation’s woes on football). The children of the professional and properties classes get huge unearned financial advantage through inheritance. You could certainly address that by putting inheritance tax up to 100 per cent (as was seriously proposed by The New Statesman as recently as the 1990s) but such a proposal would only find favour in the mythical Land of Bonkers.

The reason that gap is so wide is not because poorer people are becoming poorer; it’s because those at the top are stretching that gap, pulling it wider with every six-figure bonus they receive and with every half-a-million-pounds house they inherit. And I’m not convinced there’s anything the government can or should do about that, unless you want to go down the route of a return to a Supertax of 98 per cent.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the newsagent to get me lottery ticket…