And another thing…

ACCORDING to ConservativeHome, David Cameron wants to get rid of the eyesore peace demonstration seemingly permanently ensconced in Parliament Square, across from the Commons.

I don’t expect this will sit well with the libertarians who are lining themselves up behind the Tories at the moment (“We can’t even march into Central Lobby wearing Hallowe’en costumes without giving advance notice to the authorities! It’s a police state, I tell you!” etc, etc…), but for what it’s worth, I welcome his comments. Parliament Square is simply an embarrassment these days, and not for the reasons the protesters would like it to be. When I first came to Parliament as a tourist, I remember sitting on a bench in Parliament Square with a sandwich, enjoying the view of the Palace. Now you can’t avoid a row of ugly, tatty tents and the back of Brian Haw’s head as he perseveres in his utterly pointless and self-indulgent protest.

The permanent anti-war protest also means, of course, that any other movement or cause must take second place when it comes to positioning across from the Commons. Surely it would be better to allow more groups to protest on set days in such a way that it wouldn’t end up looking, as Cameron rightly says, like a shanty town? Or would that be too democratic?

Is this what you want Parliament Square to look like in a few years? WELL IS IT? Right, then...

FROM my office in the upper committee corridor of the House of Commons, I can hear a screeching. The door to the roof of the Commons is open because it’s a bit hot in here, so I can hear the yelling, but not the actual words.

It’s coming from the resident protest on Parliament Square, of course, and you have to wonder how they can spare all the time to shout abuse at MPs and everyone else who comes in and out of the palace. For all the noise they make, no-one can make out a single word that they say. They’re very angry, and they’re very loud (although when you’re inside the building, you don’t even know they’re there) but a more pointless waste of time I cannot imagine.

I’m not even sure what they’re protesting about today. It’s probably Iraq. Or maybe ID cards. Or 42 days. Or the weather, maybe, who knows? But while this particular protest has had absolutely no effect whatsoever on the opinions or actions of MPs, it has had an effect on the comfort of the thousands of tourists whose enjoyment of Parliament Square and the Houses of Parliament has been tarnished by the hectoring, bullying tone of these stout defenders of liberty.

GEORGE Osborne has just illustrated why this is called “the silly season” by claiming the Conservatives are best placed to tackle poverty.

Perhaps the first version of his speech to Demos also included the following claims:

Jeremy Clarkson is best placed to manage cycling policy

George Osborne is best placed to be the next Chancellor

Etc, etc…

Other suggestions welcome, but be warned: I will only publish those that I think are funny.