And another thing…

SCOTTISH Labour MPs this afternoon received an email containing a news release issued by the party headlined: “Scottish Labour MEP lobbies Congress to lift ban on haggis”.

David Cairns, MP for Inverclyde, promptly hit the “reply” button and wrote: “Finally, some proper news!”

Four haggises - or "haggi" - yesterday.

A SLIGHT (well, major) change to last week’s format. Listen to hear David’s take on his five all-time favourite movies, as well as his controversial least favourite one.

See if you can guess in advance which movie falls under which category: Casablanca, Dr Strangelove, Braveheart, Red River, Reservoir Dogs and The Elephant Man.

It’s a robust 23 minutes log, but worth a listen, trust me.

 

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Remember, you can subscribe to my regular podcasts via iTunes.

DAVID Cairns MP obviously has a lot of lah-de-dah friends, because he was invited to last week’s National Television Awards celebrations, whereas I was conspicuously not.

After the main ceremony, he was queuing for the after-show party (Yes! He was invited to that too!) and was approaching the main door of the venue when a very smartly-dressed authoritative-looking woman held out her hand and said to him: “Ticket, please.” David duly handed over his golden ticket (I know!).

At that point a very large, very angry-looking bouncer appeared and bore down on him – well, David thought he was bearing down on him, but it turned out that the bouncemeister’s anger was being directed, instead, at the woman now holding David’s entry ticket.

“Look, you,” he said loudly in the woman’s face, “I’ve told you, you’re not getting in!” And he removed the ticket from her hand and gave it back to David.

I texted David Cairns, the Scotland Office minister, earlier this morning to let him know that BBC Parliament was repeating the 1983 General Election results today. In the spirit of true comradeship, he’s texted back: “Go and do some work you lazy sod.”

But it’s recess, and I’m at home, blogging and looking after two-year-old Asbo (short for Asbowaitingtohappen) who is not remotely interested in watching BBC Parliament.

My friend and colleague David Cairns, the Scotland Office minister, has been lowering sartorial standards in the House these past couple of days, sitting in the chamber and voting in the lobby without a tie! Disgraceful.

At the last vote a few minutes ago, he was spied by Wrexham MP Ian Lucas who, reflecting on the latest developments in Scottish politics vis-a-vis a referendum, asked David if had had his tie and shoelaces forcibly removed for his own safety.